Josh Holbreich is an NBC News producer who works on iCue. He was off duty and stumbled on a ticket to the final presidential debate.
Hey Joe. Can I call ya Joe? No, I'm not talking to you Joe Biden, Joe Lieberman or some mythological everyman who goes by the name of Joe Six-Pack. I need to talk for a few minutes, right down to earth, with my good friend Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher.
How the heck are ya? I keep hearing different things about you - you're poor, you're rich, you want to own your own business but you can't afford it, you were for buying it before you were against it...
So Joe, I heard all of these things about you while I was watching the debate at a VIP reception for Hofstra University supporters at the University Club, a mere 300 yards or so away from the David S. Mack Sports and Exhibition Complex. Now, Joe, you know I'm not a big-pocketed funder of higher education. I work in news, and can barely fund my own lunch. I was there because one of those guys couldn't make it, and the tickets made their way down to me. See, the trickle-down principle made my American Dream come true!
Joe, if there's one thing I learned at Hofstra, it was how you and I -- or any Tom, Dick or Harry -- could throw one heck of a debate-watching party.
First, get your hands on $3 million. That's how much Hofstra spent on the event.
Second, serve good food. Nothing eases the pain of recession like a good old piece of prime rib. And they had another chef rolling out fresh spicy tuna, eel and salmon sushi. Joe, I couldn't choose between the beef and the fish. Both choices were so tempting. So I considered asking the caterer, Chef Jeff Loshinsky, what would happen if he became unable to serve one of the dishes, would he be happy just serving the other?
"Well," Jeff the Chef might have told me after admitting his preference for the sushi, "Americans have gotten to know the prime rib. They know that it's not fishy and can be found in restaurants all over America." In the spirit of the event, he'd probably continue on to say that sushi is also a solid choice that definitely excites the base of many parties.
Third, get some real A-List people on the invite list. No joke, Joe, on my way into the University Hall, I ran smack into New York Governor David Paterson. But before I could apologize, he disappeared, only to show up on one of the monitors right behind me. Don't forget to bring these folks in the back way - we parked on one side of campus, and were then bussed to the other along a protester-free route.
While I was looking for a place to put down my stuff and revel like a fat cat, New York Senator Chuck Schumer walked on by. Yeah, I know, he's no Hillary. She must have been at a better party. And it was odd, Joe, that there were no high-ranking, currently serving Republicans around. I didn't think this was a partisan event.
Speaking of high-ranking elected women, as I was popping a stuffed mushroom into my mouth (note to Chef Jeff - this was the only culinary misstep of the evening), I spied House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the other side of the room. I tried to get her to stand for a picture, but doggone it if she didn't move at just the right second. I tried and tried until it was clear her advance staff was worried, and paying more attention to me than to the Speaker. In the end, she nearly knocked me over on her own quest for a bowl of pasta.
But the best, Joe, was at a large, round table in the front of the room where Senator Alfonse D'Amato - the man who brought so much pork
to New York that he was known as Senator Pothole - was holding court.
It's been ten years since Chuck Schumer beat him in another expensive, ugly
election, but as the two talked, it was clear that the old wounds hadn't healed,
despite Chuck's efforts to "hug it out." Someday, maybe McCain and
Obama will meet like this.
Before I go, Joe, I want to come back to that other Joe, Joe Six-Pack, for a minute, because there's a lot that's been put out there. I don't know if J6P's checked in with his 401k lately, but I think he's going to have to make some hard decisions regarding future spending on his special liquid interests. He might just have to downgrade to Joe Four-Pack, or worse - Joe Dry.
That was pretty much it, Joe. You've heard about all the rest - the split screens, the smiles, the grimaces. Nothing I saw back stage - or three football fields away from the stage - changes what's already been said by people way above my pay grade. There were cheers and jeers from both sides of the room as the night wore on, and the only thing I'm sure of is that in all that uproar, the syllable most spoken was 'Joe.'
One more thing, Joe, if you do become a small business owner - got any jobs?
Discuss (176 Comments)
Link to this176 Comments
Is this some dumb play-by-play of your evening or is there a point you are trying to make? Other than doing some pol watching and getting free food, your point is what? Is it that YOU are afraid of Joe the plumber? Is he the spoiler now?
Get a life.
I agree!!! This post seems to a be mocking Joe and everyone who identifies with him. Joe rocks!!! He is an everyman!!! The media need to leave this man alone. Obama went into his neighborhood, and this guy wanted to ask him a question. People who work hard and are successful should not have to "spread the wealth"!!! If this "spreading" is done, achieving the American dream will become a punishment. Small businesses will suffer and jobs will be lost!!! It's a no-win situation!!!
Thanks for the comments. While I did attend this event for the free food and an opportunity to stalk current and former government officials, I also wanted to see what kind of access to power one can get for $3 million dollars.
As far as "Joe the Plumber," my intent was not to mock Joe Wurzelbacher, himself, but rather the candidates' use of him as a rhetorical device. This is a long-held tradition that goes back to at least 1982, when President Reagan began acknowledging guests in his State of the Union addresses.
Joe the Plumber hardly rocks. He, I hope, is surely no every man. This man is an out and out liar...doesnt pay his taxes...basically used the McCain campaign to further his aspirations of being a singer.....I feel for Ohioans. They are hardworking people that pay their taxes...dont lie about wanting to purchase a business...but Joe has made a mockery of all Ohioans. So has John McCain for portraying this man as average america. He is anything but.
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